Away for the Moment (jose)

[LEN ATKINS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,470,true][bg=444444][atrb=background,http://i875.photobucket.com/albums/ab320/luxxray/bgpattern6.png] [style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;margin-top:15px; font-family: arial black; font-size: 14pt; letter-spacing:-3;line-height:8pt;padding-bottom:-10px;color:#5c6385;text-shadow: #444444 .5px .5px .5px; border-bottom:7px solid #e0e0e0;background:#efefef;text-transform:uppercase;]it seems like my eyes have been transfigured[/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;line-height:7pt;color: #887261;background:#eaeaea;border-top:1px dotted #5f5043;]SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE HAS CHANGED - THEY'RE OPEN WIDE[/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;background:#eaeaea;padding-bottom:10px;] [/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px; font-size:18pt; letter-spacing:1; font-family:georgia;font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;margin-top:-20;text-shadow: #111111 .5px .5px .5px; color: #a78b71;padding-bottom:0px;border-bottom: 4px solid #aaaaaa;text-align:right;padding-right:10px;background:#eaeaea;line-height:15pt;]but hold that trigger →[/style] [style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;line-height:7pt;color: #887261;background:#eaeaea;border-top:1px dotted #5f5043;]### WORDS & JOZE & =D[/style][style=margin:15px;background:#eaeaea;border-top: 3px solid #bababa;font-size:7.5pt;text-align:justify;padding:4px 4px 10px 4px;]Crap! Len thought as he walked along towards his crowded house. Hopefully his mother and father would be at work... And Joze and his little sister were asleep. He really didn't need a conversation, and as the two had been fighting quite a lot... He didn't want to see Joze. Not at all. That's why Len had been trying not to get into the house, and had been...well, away. No! It wasn't like he didn't love his family, they were his whole life. It was just that he was feeling so suffocated! With Joze and him being total enemies, his parents having to work for money. Len was angry that he didn't have a scholarship, and Joze just happened to get one at one of the most prestigious highschools in New York! He frowned at the thought. It still made him angry. The boy had needed to get away from it all. The tension, everything. His family, too, he needed to get away from. But Len felt a little guilty, he had to admit, that he was doing this. Leaving each night and not coming back until the morning after. But it wasn't like his family needed him. He was useless. Having no job and no scholarship made him feel like a loser, despite that public highschools required no pay, Joze was in a private highschool on a scholarship, and she had a job, too. It seemed Princess had everything that he didn't. And it annoyed the crap out of him. "Ugh." he let out a long groan. What was he doing when he was away from town? Walking around by Times Square, going to Little Italy and talking to people, thinking of running away from home. Mom needs me! Dad needs me! Len's mother had told him that Josephine would miss him if he was gone, but he hadn't taken her word for it and had left. He really didn't care what Josephine thought, and he doubted that she missed him. He was annoyed. Len! What are you doing? Stop acting like such a damn baby. he cursed at himself angrily, and at Josephine, silently, too. Sometimes he wished that his mother had never had a sister. He was fine with the baby in the family, his baby sister. She wasn't much of a baby now, but was the youngest. But why Josephine...? He hated her so much. Len groaned. "Shit, Len!" Talking to himself. Stop thinking about your damn sister! More annoyance filled him as he thought about Josephine, and how the two were best-friends before the thing with the scholarship happened. Tension built up between the two. Len doubted that they would be friends sometime. Maybe they'll be enemies for life. In spite of the two being siblings... Opening the door of his house, Len barged in, but tried not to wake his sisters up. He closed his blue eyes for moments as he started walking towards his bedroom. "What the hell...?" Len said rather loudly as he walked into something. He looked up to see... A girl. With blonde, choppy hair, icy blue eyes, and a childish look. His sister, of course. His eyes blazed like fire with anger, "What the hell are you doing up this late?" he asked in a fiery tone. "You should be asleep by now, Joze." he muttered, feeling a little guilty. He had forgotten that he had been out late at night. He didn't have the right to be shouting at Joze for just being awake. Len crossed his arms, "And watch where you're going." he muttered. "You walked right into me. I could have fallen and tripped." he said harshly, not trying to hold back any anger. He just wanted to scream and start a fight. He leaned back on the kitchen counter and waited for her to start shouting angrily back at him. Len expected her to. Hopefully their arguing wouldn't wake up their little sister... But he was so angry that he really didn't give a damn if she woke up and started crying cause they were fighting... Len hated Josephine so much at the moment... ...what's happening to you? he asked, feeling a little guilty. He was acting like he was insane, ignoring his family and hiding from everybody. Of course, he cared for Josephine. He wouldn't want her hurt or crying, he didn't want to see her upset. Your her damn brother, for crying out loud! he told himself angrily. A wave of guilt washed over him. He just stood there, not knowing what to say next. He didn't have anything to say. Closing his eyes and trying to calm himself down, Len took a deep breath. Hopefully Joze would notice himself trying to calm down. If she started bursting out at him, too, he would totally explode. Len had a temper. He easily was angry, probably everything annoyed him. It was hard for him to calm down after an argument... If it wasn't for his ego, Len would have apologized. But he didn't. He just stood there, saying and doing nothing at all. He thought anything there was to say would end up with him in trouble with his parents, locking himself in a room, running away, or saying some stupid. "You still haven't told me why you're out here." he said, his anger coming back quickly. Len's blue gaze went from his feet back to Josephine. His blue gaze burned her gaze. A frown appeared on his face, he was going to burst. "Why the hell are you awake?" he shouted, "Didn't mom or dad tell you to be sleep before this?" It was nearly morning, he hadn't expected Josephine to be awake. But maybe his slamming of the door and stomping into the house had woken her up. His baby sister was probably awake, too. He didn't doubt it. Len expected Josephine to start shouting back about how he was out late, too. He had been going around New York, angry, and thinking about running away. Of course, with all the stress in the house, he just wanted to get away. But being Josephine's brother, he didn't just want to annoy her by starting a fight. He was her older brother, he was responsible for what happened to her, of course. Always blamed for her faults and all that crap. He wanted to know if she was out doing something. He needed to know. "Shit." he muttered softly about his mixed feelings of anger and knowing that she is his responsibility, and she's his little sister. "Shit, shit, shit!" [/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px; margin-bottom:15px; font-size:16pt; letter-spacing: 2; font-family:georgia;font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;margin-top:-20;text-shadow: #111111 .5px .5px .5px; color: #797c8c;padding-bottom:0px;border-bottom: 4px solid #aaaaaa;text-align:left;padding-left:10px;background:#eaeaea;line-height:10pt;]this could mean danger ←[/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;line-height:7pt;color: #887261;background:#eaeaea;border-top:1px dotted #5f5043;border-bottom:1px solid #5f5043;]POST MADE BY ASHTON OF ON THE EDGE[/style]

[JOSEPHINE ATKINS]

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, background: url(http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/5995/watercolortemplate.jpg); width: 450px; padding: 20px; margin-top: -30px; -webkit-border-radius: 20px; -moz-border-radius: 20px, bTable][atrb=style, color: 1d1921; padding: 10px; background: #fde8f9; opacity: 0.4; font-family: Tahoma; word-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-radius: 20px; -moz-border-radius: 20px; border: 1px dashed #a291b2] ○ ○ ○ This was unusual for her, she will admit that. But by god, was it that weird that she was up so late trying to finish her extra credit project? Honestly, although it was due the following Friday, procrastination was something she did not want to deal with anymore. Besides, extra points was always a welcome thing with her, especially if she had started lagging behind on her schoolwork. It was at these times Joze really started to envy her peers - they didn't actually need to work their asses off to stay in the school seeing as they paid for the courses and the studies and everything. Although there were the run of the mill average students that got pretty good grades, there was always that group of ungrateful people that failed their classes because they thought their social life was more important. Not that socializing wasn't important, Joze knew that. Building up people skills and being friendly would eventually help in your later life when you were trying to impress your future boss during an interview. Although Joze was sorely lacking in this skill, at least she had academic proof (on a piece of official looking paper - maybe!) that she was intelligent. That would be good enough for some people, depending on what job one was aiming for. Joze was not exactly a people person - not to strangers or people she didn't particularly knew. Clamming up might be a good explanation for that type of thing. A loss for words, or maybe an occasional fit of anger if she was in an off mood. But focusing on her extra credit work. It was almost done, and then she could sleep. Thank goodness it was a weekend, or else she never knew how she would survive this whole ordeal. Cut here, paste here, use complete sentences... all junk. But she wanted to make the most of this, so it had to be perfect. Visible, legible, and then she'd have to battle her nervousness of presenting it to the whole class. She'd probably be the only one - again - but none of them really paid much attention to her. Maybe because her voice wasn't exactly easy to listen to, or they tuned her out. Maybe they were just uninterested. It was one of those, for sure. Or maybe it was something else. Due to the fact that this class was after lunch they could very well be on the verge of sleeping. She always had that wave of complete and utter tiredness, probably spurred on from the lunch she ate and how groggy it always seemed to make her. The fact that it'll probably be on a Friday only made it worse. No.... just great... Was it already this late? Did mom and dad already leave for work? And how did her sister sleep with her periodic swearing and the rustling of papers every so often? Well, she must have been tired. But it was a little note-worthy how her parents managed to go to work without so much as noticing her very noticeable light that was on. She shook the thoughts out of her head. She needed to concentrate. She couldn't think about such trivial things. And she needed some glue. And some scissors. But she really didn't want to get out of the comfort of her room, as stupid as it was. Even if she was in her house. There was always the fact that Len could be home, but that was unlikely. She didn't hear the door open and close (then again she didn't hear her parents leave). So it was safe for now. Clad in her pajamas she made her way to the kitchen and opened up the drawer that contains all the supplies - glue and scissors and all. She made it in safely, Joze turned around to go back into her room and BAM. "L-len?" When did he get home? Knowing him and his current habits, probably just now. What am I doing up so late? I could ask the same for you. "What are you doing home so... late?" She countered to his question. What right did he have to know why she was doing up, seeing how he wasn't exactly the most supportive and the most concerned of the household. So as childish as it was, Joze refused to answer that simple question. And seeing how incredibly stubborn she was, she wasn't going to give up the answer so quickly to her brother. But she found herself stumbling over her words, like talking to her first crush. "I-I'm sor-ry... d-didn't mean to walk into y-you." Stop it, Joze. Stop it. It's just your brother. You're stupid ass of a brother. She bit her lip, holding back some tears. Why are we so estranged now? What happened to before? Joze grit her teeth. The urge to say something sarcastic, to say something mean and hurtful to her brother was closing in, reaching up from her throat to her mouth until it was on the verge of forcing itself out. But she held it in her mouth, stubborn, refusing to let it out. Not yet at least. She could tell somewhat that he was trying to hold something in, unlike herself, or calming down. That would save so much trouble... Len was silent, looking down. Joze nearly turned around and headed to her room, taking it as a sign that he didn't want to talk and leave it for the morning. But, alas, she wasn't so lucky. She should have seen it coming anyways. "Why would I tell you?" Mumble. Mumble. Mumble. Her sister was still asleep, peaceful and quiet. So she flinched when Len started yelling. "S-stop it..." She didn't want to yell but she could feel it coming. "You'll wake up our little sis..." The words were forced, she was evidently holding back. If it were for her little sister, she would be yelling, screaming, why was he such a horrible brother? But when he started swear, Joze snapped. "Stop it! Why do you have to be this way, all the time?!" The anger was boiling her blood. She couldn't really care less about her sister now. "You have no right to ask me these things, barging in! You should ask yourself. Where are you going so late at night?" Joze didn't want to start losing it now, but could she really help herself? "You're the worst excuse for a brother, ever! You're never there, you're not supportive, you don't even care for us, do you?" Her sister was a deep sleeper (hopefully). Joze didn't want to get her caught up with this, but she couldn't see how. "I hate you!" She barely registered the words she said."I.. I really hate you..." ○ tagged lennn ○ word count uhh... enough i hope... ○ notes i'm going to just add a timestamp... DATE ○ September uh... 1st? I'm making it a Saturday and it's before the event. TIME ○ Early in the morning, I'm not sure, somewhere in the AMs? WEATHER ○ Don't see how it applies but it's september so it's a little chilly but still... sorta warm? ○ ○ ○ Template by JAWN of AA, OTE, DMB and TC

[LEN ATKINS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,470,true][bg=444444][atrb=background,http://i875.photobucket.com/albums/ab320/luxxray/bgpattern6.png] [style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;margin-top:15px; font-family: arial black; font-size: 14pt; letter-spacing:-3;line-height:8pt;padding-bottom:-10px;color:#5c6385;text-shadow: #444444 .5px .5px .5px; border-bottom:7px solid #e0e0e0;background:#efefef;text-transform:uppercase;]it seems like my eyes have been transfigured[/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;line-height:7pt;color: #887261;background:#eaeaea;border-top:1px dotted #5f5043;]SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE HAS CHANGED - THEY'RE OPEN WIDE[/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;background:#eaeaea;padding-bottom:10px;] [/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px; font-size:18pt; letter-spacing:1; font-family:georgia;font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;margin-top:-20;text-shadow: #111111 .5px .5px .5px; color: #a78b71;padding-bottom:0px;border-bottom: 4px solid #aaaaaa;text-align:right;padding-right:10px;background:#eaeaea;line-height:15pt;]but hold that trigger →[/style] [style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;line-height:7pt;color: #887261;background:#eaeaea;border-top:1px dotted #5f5043;]### WORDS & JOZE & =D[/style][style=margin:15px;background:#eaeaea;border-top: 3px solid #bababa;font-size:7.5pt;text-align:justify;padding:4px 4px 10px 4px;]Was he really doing this right now? He doubted that Joze was up to anything this late, but he couldn't stop himself from caring and needing to know what she was up to. Len, being Len, couldn't just act all sweet and say he really cared. With them fighting all the time, Len didn't really have the courage to show that he actually cared as her brother. "What are you doing home so... late?" Len froze. What should he tell her? He bit his lower lip. What should I say? If I say that I've been out, it'll just make me look like a hypocrite... he thought, annoyance filling him up at the moment. "I-I'm sor-ry... d-didn't mean to walk into y-you." Len bit his lip harder, trying to stop himself from shouting. ...why... he thought, Must you act so rudely upon your own sister...? Len had been nothing but a jerk to Josephine after she had gotten a scholarship... And he didn't. She seemed sleepy... Should he really be fighting with her? "Why would I tell you?" Josephine asked. "S-stop it... You'll wake up our little sis..." Len hadn't heard her, continuing to shout. I've started the fight. I need to finish it. he sighed. "Okay, I'm sorr-" he started. "Stop it! Why do you have to be this way, all the time?!" Rage entered Josephine. Len lit up in flames. He was going to apologize! He narrowed his eyes, not thinking about saying sorry to his sister... Now all he wanted to do was fight with her. He couldn't care less about if his other sister woke up or not. "You have no right to ask me these things, barging in! You should ask yourself. Where are you going so late at night?" Len's gaze went to the floor. What should I say? She's only going to shout at me if I tell her that I've been out. Crap. Len looked back up, his blue gaze burning. "You're the worst excuse for a brother, ever! You're never there, you're not supportive, you don't even care for us, do you?" her question echoed in his ear. You don't care for us, do you? Len's gaze fell to the ground. He couldn't look back up at his sister. Of course I do... he thought softly. I've always cared for the both of you... No matter what I've did, I always had... He couldn't tell her that. "I hate you!" Josephine's words really cut him. They had told each other that they hated the other before, but he had never felt so bad... "I.. I really hate you..." Len tried to keep himself from apologizing over and over. Maybe if he just was silent, he'd forget everything. But he couldn't look back at her... His world was collapsing right in front of him. We're family... he thought. How could Josephine hate him? He knew... That she had meant every word. Len held his head in the air, trying not to apologize. "...I..." he started, "Hate you, too." he spat, his words as cold as hers. "I hate you, Joze. I hate you." Saying those words to his younger sister made him feel sick to his stomach. How could he say such a thing to his own sister? I'm the worst excuse for an older brother... Len thought, leaning on the kitchen counter. "Josephine..." Len started, his icy blue eyes closing. I'm so sorry. For everything. he thought silently. Why must we always fight? Am I that bad of a brother? I've never been there. he bit his lip. We used to be so close... What happened between us? The scholarship... It tore us apart. Why? Len blinked. His gaze went back to Josephine. He burned under her fiery gaze. What was he doing? "Josephine..." he said, barely audible. "I'm so sorry..." he doubted that he had heard her. And if she had...hopefully she hadn't. Len looked past the kitchen and to the hall, where he noticed his...little sister's head sticking out of the door. Her blue eyes were full of fear, and she cringed whenever Len or Josephine shouted. His stomach churned. "I know." he looked up to Joze, his blue eyes empty. "I've been..." his voice trailed off. "A jerk to you..." he blinked. "We used to be...so close Joze. We always watched out for each other. What changed? What happened between us?" he hesitated to meet her gaze for the next moments. He didn't want her to see him so...weak. [color=Was he really doing this right now? He doubted that Joze was up to anything this late, but he couldn't stop himself from caring and needing to know what she was up to. Len, being Len, couldn't just act all sweet and say he really cared. With them fighting all the time, Len didn't really have the courage to show that he actually cared as her brother. "What are you doing home so... late?" Len froze. What should he tell her? He bit his lower lip. What should I say? If I say that I've been out, it'll just make me look like a hypocrite... he thought, annoyance filling him up at the moment. "I-I'm sor-ry... d-didn't mean to walk into y-you." Len bit his lip harder, trying to stop himself from shouting. ...why... he thought, Must you act so rudely upon your own sister...? Len had been nothing but a jerk to Josephine after she had gotten a scholarship... And he didn't. She seemed sleepy... Should he really be fighting with her? "Why would I tell you?" Josephine asked. "S-stop it... You'll wake up our little sis..." Len hadn't heard her, continuing to shout. I've started the fight. I need to finish it. he sighed. "Okay, I'm sorr-" he started. "Stop it! Why do you have to be this way, all the time?!" Rage entered Josephine. Len lit up in flames. He was going to apologize! He narrowed his eyes, not thinking about saying sorry to his sister... Now all he wanted to do was fight with her. He couldn't care less about if his other sister woke up or not. "You have no right to ask me these things, barging in! You should ask yourself. Where are you going so late at night?" Len's gaze went to the floor. What should I say? She's only going to shout at me if I tell her that I've been out. Crap. Len looked back up, his blue gaze burning. "You're the worst excuse for a brother, ever! You're never there, you're not supportive, you don't even care for us, do you?" her question echoed in his ear. You don't care for us, do you? Len's gaze fell to the ground. He couldn't look back up at his sister. Of course I do... he thought softly. I've always cared for the both of you... No matter what I've did, I always had... He couldn't tell her that. "I hate you!" Josephine's words really cut him. They had told each other that they hated the other before, but he had never felt so bad... "I.. I really hate you..." Len tried to keep himself from apologizing over and over. Maybe if he just was silent, he'd forget everything. But he couldn't look back at her... His world was collapsing right in front of him. We're family... he thought. How could Josephine hate him? He knew... That she had meant every word. Len held his head in the air, trying not to apologize. "...I..." he started, "Hate you, too." he spat, his words as cold as hers. "I hate you, Joze. I hate you." Saying those words to his younger sister made him feel sick to his stomach. How could he say such a thing to his own sister? I'm the worst excuse for an older brother... Len thought, leaning on the kitchen counter. "Josephine..." Len started, his icy blue eyes closing. I'm so sorry. For everything. he thought silently. Why must we always fight? Am I that bad of a brother? I've never been there. he bit his lip. We used to be so close... What happened between us? The scholarship... It tore us apart. Why? Len blinked. His gaze went back to Josephine. He burned under her fiery gaze. What was he doing? "Josephine..." he said, barely audible. "I'm so sorry..." he doubted that he had heard her. And if she had...hopefully she hadn't. Len looked past the kitchen and to the hall, where he noticed his...little sister's head sticking out of the door. Her blue eyes were full of fear, and she cringed whenever Len or Josephine shouted. His stomach churned. "I know." he looked up to Joze, his blue eyes empty. "I've been..." his voice trailed off. "A jerk to you..." he blinked. "We used to be...so close Joze. We always watched out for each other. What changed? What happened between us?" he hesitated to meet her gaze for the next moments... "S-s-so-sorr-sorry..." he whispered, barely audible. [/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px; margin-bottom:15px; font-size:16pt; letter-spacing: 2; font-family:georgia;font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;margin-top:-20;text-shadow: #111111 .5px .5px .5px; color: #797c8c;padding-bottom:0px;border-bottom: 4px solid #aaaaaa;text-align:left;padding-left:10px;background:#eaeaea;line-height:10pt;]this could mean danger ←[/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;line-height:7pt;color: #887261;background:#eaeaea;border-top:1px dotted #5f5043;border-bottom:1px solid #5f5043;]POST MADE BY ASHTON OF ON THE EDGE[/style]

[JOSEPHINE ATKINS]

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, background: url(http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/5995/watercolortemplate.jpg); width: 450px; padding: 20px; margin-top: -30px; -webkit-border-radius: 20px; -moz-border-radius: 20px, bTable][atrb=style, color: 1d1921; padding: 10px; background: #fde8f9; opacity: 0.4; font-family: Tahoma; word-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-radius: 20px; -moz-border-radius: 20px; border: 1px dashed #a291b2] ○ ○ ○ How was she supposed to act like this? Although she always regretted the words she said to her brother after their arguments, the black poison of regret was crawling around her heart, clenching it and tightening to a sick feeling in Joze. What was happening to the two of them? This wasn’t good – but she was too prideful, too stubborn. She couldn’t just apologize to him, she just couldn’t. There was something wrong with this picture, she knew, but how could she fix it? Already she knew that she couldn’t be the one to fix it – and knowing Len he probably wouldn’t be the one to fix it either. But then they were at an impasse – how the heck would they mend their relationship? Joze knew that she couldn’t keep living like this – it was torturous. She didn’t want to fall into a pattern and have their relationship remain strained forever. It wasn’t a comfortable life. It was far from it. The only thing she would change make a real change about is the added stress it caused her mother and her father. On top of the two siblings’ estrangement, they had to worry about their little sister and money and food and everything else that kept the house going. But Joze couldn’t find it in her heart to stop their argument just for her parent’s sake. Now it was all up to Len. If he wanted this to end, then he must have given some hint. Bitter resentment filled Joze. It was his fault, anyways. If he hadn’t been so stone cold to her when she had gotten accepted to the school and he didn’t, then there was almost an one hundred percent chance this whole thing would have been avoided and they would have been such great brother and sister. Not to say she didn’t play a part of this, which she did. Maybe if she hadn’t answered her best on the entrance exam and went to public school with her brother then this wouldn’t have happened. But she blamed the stupid school too. If they had picked her brother as well as her then everything would have been dandy – and she would have someone in the same situation as her, via scholarship student, with her. But they were mean – they didn’t let her in with her brother. With school just starting up, she would have been entering her sophomore year and her brother in his junior yeah. In that school. But no – she was a lonely sophomore in her scholarship school and her brother actually retained his friends from before high school. That was one thing she was jealous of – that he could see his friends everyday while she was just so busy. Sure, she had some friends at her school, but she couldn’t go home with them to her little run-down house. Not that they would want to, anyways. They were always sympathetic of her living situation. The only person she had been able to tell about this estrangement was her best friend from next door. It wasn’t like there was much of a choice though, she could overhear them yelling. Yeah, the siblings fought quite a bit and the whole neighborhood practically shook with their rage and anger. In fact, her whole neighborhood probably knew about it. Not that they really cared, although maybe not the whole neighborhood. Only the ones who happened to chance by their house when they were in a rather fierce argument, really. However it was pretty common knowledge for anyone who’s known the two for a long time. But their rage was great, their anger was great. Already this whole thing was taking its toll on her. Sure, it wasn’t graying her hair or anything. But mentally she was exhausted. Tired of this. She wanted this to stop. But she wouldn’t budge a muscle, she wouldn’t let herself give in. Give into what? A little voice in the back of her head remarked. It’ll be the best thing to do in the long run. She had to agree. But that would mean letting her brother win. She didn’t want to let him win; she didn’t want to be the first one to crack. But the words were sharp. Making her bleed. Her heart was aching for the familiar comfort of her brother’s arms, the ones she had sought solace in for the first thirteen, fourteen years of her life. But the next words she was expecting. After all, how could she expect comfort from him when she had just told him that she hated him? That he wanted never there. That he didn’t care. But it still hurt like a knife, like all the other times he said it. But why did it hurt even more now? Was her heart finally at its breaking point? No, it couldn’t be. She wouldn’t let it be. She would be strong. If Joze had to, she’ll grow a stone cold heart. If she had to, then she’d keep going on with this. She didn’t want to, but her own stubbornness, her own pride let her. ”I hate you, Joze. I hate you.” Although her eyes were watering up again she didn’t let any fall. She was well aware already. They threw the words around like nothing, the hate, the dislike. It was sick. ”I think we’ve already established this.” Joze tried to muster up her coldest voice, but it ended up cracking from the almost-tears clogging her throat. She visibly cringed. She hoped he didn’t notice, but that was asking for a bit too much. She didn’t want this. Why would she? She never asked for this. Why her? Why did the fates have to be so cruel to her? If only she had a more normal life. If only she had fallen asleep before is. If only she hadn’t done the extra credit – what did the extra credit mean to her if she didn’t have her brother with her? If only, if only. It wasn’t fair. She let one tear drop as she listened to him continue. ”Josephine…” He muttered some inaudible words – she strained to hear them but couldn’t quite catch them. They fell dead to her ears. For some reason she thought it was important, but didn’t press the matter. She remained silent, letting him talk his due. Surprisingly, his voice wasn’t cruel, demanding, and loud like it usually was. It was if he was trying to make up for something. But she was confused. Why was he saying this stuff? He knew full well that she had firsthand experience to him being a jerk. ”What happened between us?” Her throat felt clogged as she forced out the words, choking on them. Like poison. ”The scholarship happened. Life. The lack of money. Stress. Everything. ” No – she couldn’t let herself cry! She was stronger than that. Just because he said some sappy things he was having this effect on her. It couldn’t be. She won’t let herself fall apart like putty in his hands. I’m… I’m stronger than this… But then he said those magic words. Sorry. But she couldn’t accept it. She avoided his eyes, but only glancing at them. Seeing them look behind her into the hallway. She followed them. And to her horror she saw her little sister standing there. They must have been loud. ”Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Len.” She was glad for her sister being there, though, she could distract herself. ”Go back you bed, alright… me and Len are just having… a talk.” ○ tagged lennn ○ word count uhh... enough i hope... ○ notes yay! ○ ○ ○ Template by JAWN of AA, OTE, DMB and TC

[LEN ATKINS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,470,true][bg=444444][atrb=background,http://i875.photobucket.com/albums/ab320/luxxray/bgpattern6.png] [style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;margin-top:15px; font-family: arial black; font-size: 14pt; letter-spacing:-3;line-height:8pt;padding-bottom:-10px;color:#5c6385;text-shadow: #444444 .5px .5px .5px; border-bottom:7px solid #e0e0e0;background:#efefef;text-transform:uppercase;]it seems like my eyes have been transfigured[/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;line-height:7pt;color: #887261;background:#eaeaea;border-top:1px dotted #5f5043;]SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE HAS CHANGED - THEY'RE OPEN WIDE[/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;background:#eaeaea;padding-bottom:10px;] [/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px; font-size:18pt; letter-spacing:1; font-family:georgia;font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;margin-top:-20;text-shadow: #111111 .5px .5px .5px; color: #a78b71;padding-bottom:0px;border-bottom: 4px solid #aaaaaa;text-align:right;padding-right:10px;background:#eaeaea;line-height:15pt;]but hold that trigger →[/style] [style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;line-height:7pt;color: #887261;background:#eaeaea;border-top:1px dotted #5f5043;]### WORDS & JOZE & =D[/style][style=margin:15px;background:#eaeaea;border-top: 3px solid #bababa;font-size:7.5pt;text-align:justify;padding:4px 4px 10px 4px;]Len understood what happened between them. It was just that now they were apart, as they used to be so close, he realized how much he had actually cared for his sister. "Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Len." he watched as Josephine turned towards their little sister and comforted her. Why can't I be more like Josephine? he thought, biting his lower lip. He watched his little sister leave and hurry back to her room. Len sighed and looked back at Josephine. "We need...to talk this out, Joze. We can't just do nothing about it." he retorted, trying to keep calm and act only gently. He was used to... Shouting loudly. But now, aware that his little sister was awake, he didn't want to frighten her. "Can we just stop?" he asked, "Stop everything. We're acting like children, you're sixteen and I'm seventeen. Josephine, we need to stop fighting. For the sake of our little sister." he bit his lip harshly, hopefully she wouldn't say that he had never been there. It pained him to hear about how he never supported the two, being selfish, ignorant, and self-centered. What really happened between them? He still hadn't forgotten the two playing in sand when they were little, talking to Josephine before... But when highschool started, and Len failed to receive a scholarship, their worlds... It seemed to clash, now they both thought only about hating the other. The memories of them playing and hugging and kissing each other on the cheeks when they were little had all faded. Now, there was only the present, which brought only cold memories. Were all their memories of childishness gone? "You know what I'm talking about, Josephine." he said, still thinking about the two when they were little. His blue gaze landed back on his sister. "I still remember..." his voice trailed off, "Everything from when we were little... I remember us playing together and mother by out side, I remember our little sister being born, I remember us playing together until night time..." he frowned, and tried not to cry, it would make him seem weak, in front of his sister. "Do you still remember us when we were friends? Or are the only memories that you have of us together... Our fights and arguments...?" his voice softened. Len's stomach felt weak. "Please, Joze. I'm sorry." he said, barely audible. He looked away as he shed a tear, wiped it off with the back of his hand and turned to face Josephine. "I miss..." he started, "Our friendship." Len looked away from his sister. Urgh, did I really just tell her that? he looked back at Josephine with icy blue eyes. "I know you won't forgive me." he muttered. "But can't you just try...?" his voice sounded weak, Len stood in the kitchen, not saying one more word... He really didn't know what to say. His eyes closed for moments, "You don't need to pretend that we're friends, but we're siblings for crying outloud. Haven't you heard... Our mother tell us, not to live out our lives hating each other all the time? We're siblings, we should protect each other with our lives, Josephine. I know, I'm a hypocrite. I haven't been there half of the time for you, but please... Can't you just freaking forgive me? I'm your brother!" he said, cursing loudly afterward. He turned back away and started to cry, trying to hide it from his sister. Silence... Nothing but silence from the two, Len wanted to storm out and run away from home, but he knew it would only cause more disasters to fall. :Can you just fucking accept my apology?" he finally shouted, his eyes blaring like fire. He couldn't help but be angry once more, all the symphathy fading. "Why can't you just forgive me? Why can't be just live like normal siblings, Josephine? Why do we keep running away from each other?" Tears were starting to stream down his face, he knew he probably looked pathetic, but he couldn't help it. Muttering and shouting curses and swears, he doubted that his little sister was sleeping at the moment. He was angry, mixed feelings inside of him. Half of him felt sorry for acting so rude to his sisters... But the other half held only hate for Josephine, from the scholarship and everything that has happened between them. Eyes closing, he sighed. "Uh...sorry, Josephine..." he said softly, before turning and starting to leave the kitchen, going back to his room. [/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px; margin-bottom:15px; font-size:16pt; letter-spacing: 2; font-family:georgia;font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;margin-top:-20;text-shadow: #111111 .5px .5px .5px; color: #797c8c;padding-bottom:0px;border-bottom: 4px solid #aaaaaa;text-align:left;padding-left:10px;background:#eaeaea;line-height:10pt;]this could mean danger ←[/style][style=margin-right:15px;margin-left:15px;font-family:arial; font-size:6pt; letter-spacing: 3;line-height:7pt;color: #887261;background:#eaeaea;border-top:1px dotted #5f5043;border-bottom:1px solid #5f5043;]POST MADE BY ASHTON OF ON THE EDGE[/style]

[JOSEPHINE ATKINS]

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, background: url(http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/5995/watercolortemplate.jpg); width: 450px; padding: 20px; margin-top: -30px; -webkit-border-radius: 20px; -moz-border-radius: 20px, bTable][atrb=style, color: 1d1921; padding: 10px; background: #fde8f9; opacity: 0.4; font-family: Tahoma; word-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-radius: 20px; -moz-border-radius: 20px; border: 1px dashed #a291b2] ○ ○ ○ Her sister looked a little doubtful at her last words, a pitiful attempt at comforting her sister and hiding the truth - the very obvious truth. She was old enough to see through Joze's fabricated lies, but what else did she detect in the younger girl's eyes? Was it... fear? Never had Joze thought it would get this bad, but their arguments actually scared her little sister? No... no. "Please, me and Len will handle it." She offered her best smile at her, and it seemed to reassure her sister... a little. Well, at least she was heading back to bed. Crisis diverted, for now. If she could make her escape now and follow her sister back into their shared room, she might be able to fix her first crisis... running into Len. But she was not as lucky as she though, and as soon as her sister had left the room, she struck conversation with her. Again. Her heart clenched again as she shot a venomous glare at him. To mask how much she hated this, this situation, and how much she really did miss her brother. No... no more tears. Stay strong. They stopped for now, but why did she have the impending feeling that they were going to start up again? That the floodgates would open soon and the waterworks would start. Please... please let me do it in the comfort of my room... please don't be long... But she was wrong - they needed to talk and Joze wasn't sure if she could speak and hold her tears back at the same time. Even now, few drops were threatening to escape. Why today... why today? She didn't want to deal with this today. Not now. She just wanted to crawl into bed, curl up in her sheets, and sleep away the pain. "We need... talk this out, Joze. We can't just do nothing about it." She wanted to shout. Scream. Kick. Throw everything she had at her brother and literally let her anger engulf her. What have you been doing for the past year?! You can't just... you can't just suddenly change your mind and think things will be all happy-happy again! Her eyes were blurred with tears of anger, she wasn't sure how to stop them anymore. Should she stop them anymore? Joze grit her teeth, fighting back her bitter words, fueled on by resentment. She clenched her fists, to make sure that she wouldn't lash out suddenly. But it wasn't much help, it was taking all her willpower not to throttle her brother. This was wrong. She had never felt such resentment, such retaliation in herself towards Len. And she didn't know why. That was the scary part. They had gotten into such heated arguments that one or the other would start to throw a huge tantrum and end up breaking something. But Joze, right now Joze was feeling something much more terrifying than that. Had his words really triggered such an emotion in her? The thought flashed in her mind. Do I really want him dead? No, she dismissed the thought. I don't want my brother dead... as much as an ass he is... he's still my brother. Those magic words rang into her mind. He's still my brother. She was shaking - she didn't know if it was from anger or fear. He wanted to stop. She wanted to stop. How complicating could it be? Apparently very much so when your feelings were obviously involved, stubbornness and history. The past was most definitely not the past - the past could not be re-written in such a way that would make the events that occurred the pass year any more painful. He brother had created a gap and he sure as hell screwed it up enough to make it near permanent. "Might I add that we are still children - still minors? Or have you forgotten that fact too, along with our family?" Her voice resounded, crisp clear. Final. And she didn't like it, although it had been her desired effect. She didn't like how cold she was being. How unaccepting. Her inner self was crumbling apart, it was only a matter of time before she found a kink in her armor. But for the time being, she could not endure it. Her shell needed to keep itself upright until she could repair herself, patch herself back up. Len wasn't giving her enough time - he was being unfair, catching her at this moment. Her little sister. Joze didn't want to scare her again. But she hated causing her sister fear almost as much as she resented Len. But she was at an impasse. What was she to do? How could she stop it? She could let herself succumb to what she had hoped and dreamed to happen - for Len to finally accept her and to finally treat her like a proper sister. But that was... it was impossible. The Len she knew now... he couldn't be apologizing. He was too stubborn. So angry all the time. Perhaps this was... a dream. Yeah it probably was. But then why did it feel so... real? The feelings, so real. The pain. The tears. Angry and hot. About to spill over. They finally did when Dream Len started talking about their childhood. His expression seemed to soften - and her hot tears dripped down her face. What a disgrace... She had to turn away before they came tumbling down into cascades, rolling, dripping, a whole waterfall. And she couldn't stop them. When he finished the only thing that Joze could do was whisper. "I do... I remember..." Her voice was raspy, croaked. Her throat felt clogged up with tears - the ones that were still falling down her face. This was too much. Too dramatic. Too... heart-wrecking. How was she supposed to handle it. "I'm sorry too." She whispered to herself. Private. "I miss it too." Why couldn't she stop these tears? "If I try... then I lose." She lost anyways... she always knew the answer and yet she still held on to winning. "If I try... then you would win. I can't let you win... I can't let you get away with what you've done to me, our sister... our whole god damn family!" If it was even possible, she was sobbing harder. Covering her face with her hands. She was a nervous wreck. "Are you really my brother? Because I thought my brother would protect me through everything!" She couldn't stop now, and she knew she was making a scene - as much of a scene as she could make in her kitchen. "I can't forgive you! I'm incapable! You think you deserve my forgiveness? Well you don't. How dare you ask such a thing?" Her voice was riddled with croaks, her voice hysterical with her sobs. Why... why me? ○ tagged lennn ○ word count uhh... enough i hope... ○ notes sorry about grammar - i never run through my posts. ○ ○ ○ Template by JAWN of AA, OTE, DMB and TC